Comic Review: Chronically Unoriginal

Filed Under DIY (Do It Yourself), Comics | 2 Comments

I like doing comic reviews that no-one would otherwise do. This could be for any number of reasons. Mostly because the comic, or artist, isn't popular or well known. But there is a great deal of information to be gained, by looking at amateur comics, and see what they're doing. The latest one I've been asked to review, is Chronically Unoriginal.

Chronically Unoriginal by: Remy LaFargue

Meet Brian Cody, Jim Clark, and Chrissy Cavotta; the new FLY 92 Morning Rush.

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Comic:	Chronically Unoriginal
Creator:	Remy LaFargue

Why not create a ficticious morning radio show based off these real people? I read you've been given permission to use their real name, but as soon as you do something they don't find funny, I bet the station won't be so nice. The station OWNS those people on the radio, and the station will be dicks if they want to you to stop. Don't fuck with ClearChannel. Simply just change the names, and make up a station ID, and your all set. Hmm, as I click around, there's a lot to talk about with this comic. I guess it would be easiest for me to start at the beginning, and comment as I go.

#1 FLY 92 Morning Rush:

This first cartoon is more like a "Cast" page of the characters (Above screenshot). This page should not be available from the dropdown box, because you already have it in the top navigation. This page has two different names in the navigation, which lead to the same page. This is confusing.

Your website is set up to go newest -> oldest. Therefore, you are working your way backwards to the "Cast" page, when you intended it to be first. Also, there is no "next" link from the cast page. There should be, if this is the first page.

On one hand, I see why you did this, but the expected behavior of the dropdown box, is to view comics. You have no idea what people want to read. You have a "random" button which confirms this.

The random button tells people it doesn't matter what order the comics are in. So trying to organize it in a dropdown box is a bad choice. If they want to read a specific series of comics, like all the "Tut cartoons", have you made it easy for them to find? It makes no difference the cartoon was published on 6/12/2066 or 12/06/2006, because they "want" Tut comics, see?

Never give instructions on how to navigate your website. You've got about 5 seconds to capture someone's interest with your comic. Don't waste it on describing how to operate a "go" button, or what the "next" link does. You must assume your website is not the first website your reader has ever been to.

#2 What to do with a Tut Head:

Drawing ability isn't nearly as important as story, and the ability to direct the action, like a movie director does. In your first frame, there is a caption box describing the scene, but it comes after the dialog box. This is incorrect. The next three panels are correct, the caption box is first, then dialog.

Again a problem with the navigation. It should be like VCRs or DVD players. You have no "Back" button. So rethink how to move sideways in your navigation.

#3 LIttle Old Ladies:

What happened to my favorite wacky morning "Zoo Crew"? Who are these debutantes? They weren't on the cast page. Either you're already giving up on the original concept, or you're missing 2 additional panels:

[my opinion]

Panel #1: In-studio shot of Brian describing that Chrissy is at a live broadcast.
Panel #2: Add Chrissy, and the concert, in the background. Chrissy has her back turned to our perspective, saying something like ".. and that sums it up. Now some concert-goers opinions on the show"
Panel #3: Chrissy now facing us, with the microphone placed between Jessica and Ashley's conversation.
Panel #4: Chrissy says something like "Jessica has a creepy old lady fetish, now back to you Brian"

[/my opinion]

Ok, I say drop this dropdown navigation, because I clicked the "Next" link, but the box still says "What to do with a Tut Head". This box should change, depending on what page I'm on so I know which cartoon I'm reading.

#4 Fly Matrix Rush

IMO, one of the biggest mistakes people make, is dating the comic based on the calendar, or using calendars for navigation. As a reader, I don't really care what date the comic was created on. It only points out there are gaps between your updates. You've got about 15 comics now in this dropdown box, but what happens at 100? You want them to read every entry? I garuntee you, they will not do this. They will select the first thing that catches their eye in the huge list, and go from there. They want you to make with the funny. You are asking them to carefully read, and make decisions that don't really matter. This lessens the enjoyment they'll get from reading your comic.

#5 Pink-eye Protest

I want to know specific details about the cartoon I'm reading. The story, how long it took to draw, what is the situation based on in real life? It's boring to read why your dog ate the homework each week. NEVER apologize for the quality of your work. It is unprofessional to make excuses, and I see you going down that road without knowing it.

Never remind readers that your drawings aren't good. Because they will belive it, and if you don't think it's the greatest thing ever, neither will they, and they will stop reading. Dinosaur Comics has used the same drawing, every day, for 5+ years straight because the author, Ryan Noth can't draw. Yet he has one of the most successful comics on the web! Because he has great writing. If the story is good, stick figures have even been entertaining.

#6 Big-Eye Tut:

The disembodied floating head of King Tut

If you have nothing spectacular to say about your comic, then no-one else will either. I think this floating Tut Head is actually ruining your comic. You're trying to force it's presence into a world where it doesn't belong. It's supposed to be a device for wacky humor, like it is on the radio show. But in your comic, all three of your main characters, are "straight-men" to an inanimate object. That's not a good idea. I'm sure on the show, the head is the brunt of jokes, and the object of discussion. Otherwise, it would be the worst radio show ever if King Tut's head was the funnyman. Tut makes sense in a dream sequence.

#7 It All Starts With Fishnets:

This one is pretty funny. But notice it has nothing to do with FLY 92? What IS the premise of your comic? Pitch it to me. Is it 3 wacky Morning DJ's? How does a floating head fit into this?

I would work on simple shadows to your figures.

Summary

Ok, there is a lot more to say, but you should have more than enough to get working on. So many people want to get started web comics, sometimes they dont' realize how hard it really is. Some forget that there is a website, along with the comic. Really they just want to draw, not concerned with the website. Yet others seem to be good at making webistes, but the comics fall short. But this is a huge mistake, you must be good at both.

Go into any supermarket, and look at all those packages on the shelves. Considerable resources and time were invested into those packages to attract your attention, and make the contents look appealing. You may be fooled into buying something that comes in a nice package. But if it doesn't taste good, you won't buy it again. A website is the same thing. It is your package to make the contents look appealing. It is a huge mistake to worry about website design, when there is no reason for anyone to read the comic again. All your effort in design would be moot.

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